11 years old!!

Time really does fly by!!  My amazing niece Morgan will be 11 years old tomorrow!! How crazy is that?  I love Morgan more than she will ever know!! I was lucky to be the one that got to spend everyday with her from the time she was 2 weeks until she was 9!! Morgan is like my little sister!! The little sister that I never had!! I love her so very much!! Here are 11 things that I ABSOLUTELY love about this girl!!
11- Her laugh!! It always brings a smile to my face
10- How sweet she is to her Brothers
9- She is her Moms best friend
8- She can now cook even if it is just make Macaroni and Cheese ( okay that is the only thing she can cook)

7- I love that she is reading this over my shoulder!! Go away Morgan!!
6- I love her comebacks!! I wish I could be that quick!!
5- She still LOVES me even though she pretends she doesn't!!
4- Morgan is such a hard worker!!
3- I love that she is still dancing!! She is amazing!!
2- I love that we have our little moments when we spend time together!!
1- Morgan and I have this tradition!! We go to Beto's every morning on her Birthday!! She loves it and NEVER forgets!!

I love my little Luva Lu!! Morgan you are an amazing girl!! You have been through so much the last year and a half and you have made it through!! You are my hero and I hope you always remember that I will always be here for you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

look what I found

 

One of my favorites!! Oh how I miss those blue eyes!!

I love you Britton to the moon and back again!!

My Best Friend!!

Jackson has gotten so big.  He is now four years old and I am his best friend.  He loves me and I have to say that I love him just as much if not more!! Every Friday night he ends up at my house and hangs out with me.  I have to admit that I love it.  I was so nervous when I stopped tending him.  I figured that he wouldn't remember me as much as the other kids would.  That he wouldn't love me as much, boy was I wrong!! I am so grateful for every chance I get to spend with this little guy!! I love that he tells everyone that I am his best friend!! I must admit, he is my best friend too!!

Change, Regrets and ME!!!

I learned something new the past couple of weeks.   Just like a new years resolution some people choose a word that they are going to imput into their lives for the new year. I have been thinking about this long and hard and I finally decided that this is something that I am going to try this year.  So here it goes, I am sharing my word with the world and my friends.  My word is ME!!  Now, I know what some of you are thinking....that this word is stupid, right?? Well for me it is the most complicated word in my vocabulary.  I am one to always put everyones needs before my own. I feel like I don't even know myself anymore.  I am not trying to toot my own horn or anything but it is the truth.  I cannot remember the last time I actually did something for myself.  Thinking about my life and where I am makes me have some regrets.  I dont want to have any regrets.  So, this year I am going to think about ME more.   I just hope I can do it.   There are a lot of things that I need to do and let go of and this is the perfect year to accomplish this.  I need to take care of myself.  That is what I have decided.  With the support of my amazing sisters and Mom I think I can accomplish my goals and think about ME more!!  I am really excited for this.  I just hope that I can do it!!
 :)

Crying, its good right?

So, I did something really stupid tonight.  I watched the video that my cousin put together for Brittons funeral.  She did an amazing job.  I haven't watched this video in 9 months.  Mostly because I cant make it through without crying like a baby.  Second, because I cant tell if they are sad tears or realizing that I am going to be okay tears.  I miss Britton so much.  I know that I say that a lot on here but I feel like this is the only way that I can say it.  Britton meant so much to me.  He was a huge part of my life and it is so hard for me to think that I am going to be okay without him.  I don't want to be okay without him.  I almost don't want to move on without him but I know that is what I need to do. Britton is looking down on me and I know that he doesn't want me to be sad.  He wants to look down and see that I am doing okay.  I will never forget my little man.  I will never forget his smile and his laugh.  I will never forget him.  I am so grateful that I get to see this video and remember all of the fun times that Britton had in his life.  I know that I will cry, but that is okay because I know that I am getting through this. 

Fall Semester!!

Tonight I turned in my last and final paper for the semester.  I took on a full load this semester and I am so grateful for the break!! This semester kicked my butt!!! I am just grateful that I made it through.  Thanks to all of those that heard me complain and had faith in me and made me keep going!! It is because of you that I survived!! Yay, I did it!!

A YEAR....

Britton and I in 2009

2nd grade picture

 Monday marked a year since Britton passed away.   Although I tried to keep myself busy at work and school it still  didn't change that fact that I had a few break downs and tears.  Man, I miss that boy, more than anyone knows.  I miss him so much sometimes I can't breathe.  I remember when I got the call that Britton had been rushed to the emergency room, I thought maybe he needed an IV or something, then they told me that he had stopped breathing and they were doing CPR, I remember everything going foggy.  I just kept thinking please, please don't let this happen but it did. I remember a lot about that night.   I still remember the smell of the room they sat us in when we got to the hospital.   I remember an old man helping me calm down and focus when we heard the news that Britton had passed away.  I will never forget the love that this stranger showed me that night. He was amazing.  I remember walking into the room and seeing Keli and Buddy.  I remember a lot of things. Little details. Some I might share another day.  But the one thing that stands out the most to me was my family.  I remember sitting there holding Brittons little hand and realizing that my whole family was in that room.  They were all there.   I am so grateful that I have a family that sticks together.  My brothers and sisters and I have been through a lot in this life.  We have lost our father and that night a son/nephew.  I think that these trials have made us stronger and closer.  I realized that night that I am a lucky girl.  I am lucky because my family is so close.  Britton has set the bar high for all of us but I know that we will all be together someday.  I will see Britton again, just like I will see my dad.  I am so grateful for the gospel and for the knowledge that I have of eternal families!! I cannot wait for the day when I get to see my Britton.  I know I will cry, but it will be tears of joy and happiness. 

Britton LOVED Harry Potter!! He was so excited when I got a wand!! This is my FAVORITE pic!!