CHANGE....

I will be the first one to tell you that I hate CHANGE!!!  Its hard, its emotional, and some of the time it is something that I am not a fan of.   A lot has happened to me since my last post.  Let me fill you in on a couple of things!

My Sister Keli decided that she was going to quit her job and be a Mom! I am so proud of her and her decision.  Her kids couldn't be happier and honestly I am excited for her but scared, because for me that means CHANGE.  After nine years of being her Nanny it is still to hard to let go! Keli and Buddy have always been there for me.  Keli is an amazing sister and friend! I don't know what I would do without her! She has a good heart and she is an AMAZING Mom!  Buddy is my brother and in some ways a father figure, he always watches out for me.  They both told me I could still live with them so I took them up on the offer.  I think I need time to let go.  But I still miss those kids everyday!! I miss Morgan.  Taking her to dance,  how she sings when she listens to her Ipod thinking that no one can hear her. I just miss her!  I miss Britton and his Cleaver thoughts, his smile and his laugh!  I miss Tyler and the time we got to spend together. He is my bud.  I miss Jackson, his kisses and his hugs! These are the things that I miss everyday!  I know that I still get to see them at night but it isn't the same. But a part of me knows that it is the way it should be.  Morgan loves that her Mom gets to make the decisions now. Britton is just happy because now Mom gets to watch him play sports or ride his bike. Tyler loves it because now Mom gets to pick him up everyday.  And of course Jackson has turned into a Mamma's Boy!!  That's the way it should be!!

With Keli being home the reality hit that I needed to find a job and fast.  One week went by and I got a Job!! Wow, right? ha ha Honestly, I am so grateful that I could find a job so quickly that I love!  I am a Kindergarten Aide at a local Charter School and I love every minute of it!  The Teacher I work with has become a new friend, the parents that come and volunteer are amazing and fun, and the students are so cute!! They actually like me. Being in the classroom and helping them with their work and seeing their faces when they know what the answer is,  has made me realize that this is what I want to do!  I want to teach! So, now for the next couple of years school is where I will be. And I like that Idea.

Change is hard and stupid but also good!  As much as I hate it I am grateful that it happened or Keli wouldn't be with her kids as much as she is now and that makes it all worth it, It makes me HAPPY!!  And Me?? I am okay! Live is full of change and I better get used to it! I am just proud of myself for venturing out of my box. (I love my box!) :)